Nobel Peace Prizes

President Obama won a Nobel peace prize today. This makes sense because in his short time as President, he has… given a lot of speeches?

Previous notable Nobel Laureates include President Carter – destroyed the US for four years and hates Israel. Vice President Gore also won one for An Inconvenient Truth which has given him a convenient platform for what an increasing number of people believe to be a fictitious message. Other notable Nobel Laureates include Mikhail Gorbachev (NOT Reagan), Yasser Arafat (terrorist), and Kofi Anan (UN Sec. Gen.).

Curiously, President Reagan never won a Nobel peace prize. Single handedly dismantling the Soviet Union is nice, but there are so many qualified candidates. President Bush (41) also was overlooked. The quickest most successful war in WORLD HISTORY to oust an invading despot from a neighboring country is close, but just not quite there. Nixon? Remember how he opened China to the West? No soup for you.

My question to you, dear reader: what has the President done that Reagan failed to do?

Investments

Since last fall's economic meltdown, I have more than doubled my money during the market's cliff's-of-Dover-steep recovery. Now, I'm thinking about taking a short position for the month of September or maybe even for the rest of the year.

I feel a bit squirrely about betting against our economy/stock market. Like I'm somehow acting unpatriotic or doubting a favored child. Those feelings are probably just silly... right? It is patriotic to "capitalize" on whatever the market does... right?

Summer Vacation is Over

I am back dear readers! I know you missed me... I hope you were able to entertain yourselves sufficiently without compromising your morals. Idle hands and all that...

Today's topic: terrible lawyer jokes. Here's mine:

The IP lawyer turned from his window and disgustingly exclaimed to his client, "Death-ray my butt! This thing doesn't even slow 'em down!"

Not funny? How about this one:

It's the 99% of lawyers that give the rest of us a bad name.

No? Last chance:

What's the difference between a rat and a lawyer? I don't know either. (This one is marginally better when delivered out loud.)

OK, dear reader, obviously I'm depending on your writing skills. Have a go...

Sotomayer

Sonia Sotomayer will be confirmed with a vote of about 75-25. At best/worst, she would be confirmed at 60-40. In other words, Republicans CANNOT stop this Judge from becoming the newest Justice.

Furthermore, the Democrats and media have already cried "foul" at conservative opposition to Judge Sotomayer, calling her opponents sexist and racist. Now, I haven't educated myself on her background at all, but does she even matter? As I said a while ago (see below), assuming she is a flaming liberal -- and she may well not be -- she will be 1 incomming liberal vote replacing 1 outgoing liberal vote on SCOTUS. So who cares?

Summarized: Republicans cannot block her confirmation, conservatives risk losing greater numbers of hispanic and female voters, and Sotomayer on SCOTUS is inconsequential.

My question to you, dear reader: why in the world would Republicans or conservatives mount opposition to Judge Sotomayer's appointment to SCOTUS?

Cheap Labor Law

Why in the world would a firm whittle down its current associate ranks and support staff while still hiring law students as summer clerks/associates at between $2300 and $3000 per week?

Answers:

1. Support staff are not widgets. Lawyers make law firm widgets: billable hours. Law firms make money by selling billable hours. Firing support staff does not reduce widgets.

2. It is a buyer's market for attorneys right now. Why not downsize your $160,000-$250,000 per year seasoned associate ranks and make room for this next year's crop of willing-to-take-less law students? At this unique time -- sure to arrive only once every 15 to 20 years -- midsize and small firms in less desirable markets can snatch up top tier school students who were heretofore out of range. And on the cheap!

See Exhibit #1 to the right of this post.

It ain't pretty or nice, but its how the market is working right now...

Stronger than a Locomotive

If you are looking for a hero, look no further.  Danielle Elliott was car-jacked and kidnapped about a mile from downtown Waco.  The scum-of-the-earth thief took her money and the Baylor senior's class ring during a thirty-minute ordeal.  The terrifying episode concluded when Danielle jumped from her moving vehicle and broke both wrists in the landing.  

The next day -- and this is the really amazing part -- Danielle walked the stage to receive her degree from Baylor University.

Of going forward with her life, she said, "This person had my life in his hands for 30 minutes, and I honestly refuse to let him have any more of it."

My question to you, dear reader:  Why can't I be as tough as Danielle?

PS The theif was arrested, tried, convicted and sentenced to 45 years.

Insignificant Justice; Significant Judge

Justice David Souter's replacement will be a push for the interminable battle between conservatives and liberals on the Supreme Court. In the same way that Roberts, a dependable conservative vote, replaced Rehnquist, a dependable conservative vote, Souter, a dependable liberal vote, will certainly be replaced by another dependable liberal vote. In that sense, whoever President Obama selects as the new Justice will be fairly inconsequential and an insignificant story.

Not so insignificant is the resignation of 10th Circuit Judge Michael McConnell. This significant jurist and Constitutional Law scholar is stepping down to head the Stanford Constitutional Law Center. His professed reason is that his first love is teaching. You also have to wonder if the election of President Obama scuttled McConnell's - a Bush appointee - Supreme Court aspirations.

My question to you, dear reader: Would you give up lifetime appointment as a Circuit Court Judge to take a professorship at one of the top 3 law schools in America?